Why Every Couple Needs a Financial Plan Before It’s Too Late

The following article is by Kim Potgieter, Certified Financial Planner, author and coach; who gives us some valuable insight into money management strategies that can help South Africans to thrive in the financial world:

Sarah thought she had it all figured out. At 52, she and her husband had raised a son, built a comfortable retirement fund, and were planning their move to Italy. Six months later, she was sitting in a lawyer’s office, discovering she didn’t even know the password to their main investment account.

Her story isn’t unique. Across South Africa, couples in their 50s and 60s are facing an uncomfortable truth: the money meant for two dreams must now fund two separate futures.

Divorce after 50 has doubled in the United States since 1990 – and nearly tripled for those over 65, according to the National Institutes of Health. Here in South Africa, Statistics SA reported a 10.1% spike in divorces in 2023. The median age? 46 for men, 42 for women.

We don’t call it “grey divorce” here, but the impact is just as real. And it’s not just about broken hearts, it’s about broken retirement plans, divided assets, and financial futures that suddenly look very different.

One of the most terrifying conversations you can have in midlife is about the health status of your relationship. In my life planning meetings, I often ask couples the questions many try to avoid:

• Do you still want the same future?
• When did you last talk about your dreams – really talk?
• If something changed tomorrow, would both of you be okay  – emotionally and financially?
• Do you know what you own together – and what you need to live a good life?

Because I’ve learned that avoiding these conversations doesn’t protect your relationship. It leaves you vulnerable to blindsiding, unfair settlements, and financial disasters that could have been prevented.

I’ve worked with many women who’ve signed away their financial power because guilt whispered they didn’t deserve more. I’ve also seen partners hand over everything because they were overwhelmed with guilt or fear.

Here’s the truth – divorce isn’t just an emotional ending. It’s a business transaction. And the settlement you accept today determines the quality of your life for the next 30 to 40 years – possibly even longer. So before you sign anything, stop, breathe, plan. Never sign a settlement until you’ve done the following:

• Calculated your actual living costs for the decades ahead – plan as if you’ll live to 100
• Run a proper financial plan showing different scenarios
• Worked with both a mediator and a financial planner
• Understood every asset, debt, and investment
• Separated your emotions from the mathematics
• Understood every asset, debt, and investment
• Recognise that this is not just a legal process – it’s a life transition

That house you’re fighting over might drain your retirement fund through maintenance costs. The pension you’re splitting might not be enough for either of you. The business you built together might have a very different value from what you think.

Whether you’re happily married or not, both partners should be actively involved in financial planning and attend planning meetings together. Here’s what I recommend every couple knows: 

• Exactly what you earn and own
• Where your money goes each month
• How to access every account and investment
• What your individual retirement needs look like

I can’t tell you how often women change planners after divorce because they never felt like the planner was “theirs” to begin with. Shared financial planning means both voices matter.

Divorce isn’t just a financial reset. It’s an emotional recalibration, too. It takes courage to rebuild – and I’ve seen it happen. People do it every day: stronger, wiser, and more authentic than before. But the time to prepare isn’t when the papers are on the table. It’s now, while you still have choices.

Have the hard conversations. Get financially literate together. Create individual plans within your shared life. Because whether you stay together or part ways, financial empowerment is the greatest gift you can give yourself – and each other.

Kim Potgieter is a Certified Financial Planner, author, and coach. For more information, visit the Chartered Wealth website.